What do you you want from me?

Confusion. Basically we are nothing. compared to everything. we are just a stain on the map of life. a simple reason for feeling important. what do you want from me? patience? do you want me to let go? to leave, to forget, to move on? What do you want from me? Let me know.

arlaina... she is probably..........de bessssst. but she, she...........loves..............me......loves............yoou,.....loves........i....but that loves thee cookies and tearrrrrs that fall from theeeee face of the fat flaps of...............chocolate skins. but ears of the tiny ones of.....................boyyyy.

Plans

Plans. We all make them. Some work out and some fail miserably. Ive made plans. Ive made many many plans. I dont think i can bring myself to accepting the fact that they may not work out. Where will I turn when that happens? To a dark dismal corner in some room somewhere? Will I wonder aimlessly on some street in a town ive never been to? Will I lay in bed and let my head deeply indent the pillow? Will i give up all hope and just sit and think and think and think, about all Ive lost? All ive missed out on? Well the only answer i can give you is this...we'll see.
Optimism. It's the only thing keeping us going. If we were to face the facts and give up on our...Plans how would we accomplish anything? I smile and think about all my plans, the ones that have gone down the drain, the ones still clinging on the the edge and the ones that havent even reached the sink. I'll continue to plan. And yeah, some may not work out. Thats realistic.
It's ok to be realistic. Just not stupid...and it would be stupid to give up on our plans. Because im sure that just like mine, yours are amazing as well. :D

Today is a Wednesday

Theres something almost surreal about having your house full of family. Children running around, People constantly laughing, and food always made and smelling good. You feel content and, safe. I think I would be horribly lost without my family. Imagine a world full of relationships based only on shallow friendships. No one would put up with anyone. We'd all get fed up and just move on. But our family is stuck with us forever, and were stuck with them. I'm grateful. Because i know that i dont have to say anything for them to know exactly what im going through. :)

Blank slate

So I started a new blog. This one is ecspecially for me. Because well...I am going insane. And need SOMETHING to reason my crazy life out. So I will write, and write, and write some more until i figure out what in the heck is goin on. ;)