IM sorry blogger but im cheating on you, tumblr has my heart now! :P

collectingpeices.tumblr.com

Is there a problem?

Police officer on a bike.
Woman, late 40's.
standing right by my car
yaking on a cell phone.
nervously looking out the window.
Crap.
Is she gonna give me a ticket?
Am i parked in a red zone?
no
white zone?
no
blue zone?
Do they even have those?
um.....no
Is there a problem lady?
Your makin me nervous!
She drives away.
Her boyfriend probably called her.

Why Woman?

No need to draw on your face,
we can still see your eyes behind the mask.
caked on and running
you cant hide the scars and cracks.
Your lips may sing
but your heart is bleeding
fingernails too long,
you cant work with the earth
plastic inside
plastic ouside
your fake.
What happened to your hair?
It used to flow wild, and you adorned it with flowers,
now you defile it with dyes and fake exstensions.
What happened to the sun on your skin?
You used to bask and lay in the fields,
now you expose yourself to a machine and sprays.
What happened to your clothing?
It used to be elegant and modest, now you swipe cards
to buy jeans that dont fit and dresses that are too short.
What happened to your body?
It used to be full and beautiful,
your withering away because of a face
you saw in a magazine.
What happened to your voice?
It used to speak of things liberal, things true.
Now you smack gum and rant about designers
and pedicures.
What happened to your man?
You used to love with your whole-heart,
used to breath life into his lungs,
now hes gone,
with a skank from the office.
While you sit on your bathroom floor tears
melting in your ralph lauren.
What happened to your children?
You used to strap them to your back and
hold back the storms of chaos,
now you pay others to feed the fruit of your belly.
now you push professers to teach what you should.
now you give air instead of love, paper instead of wisdom.
now you send off instead of welcome.
What happened to your grace?
You used to charm suiters with such air and dignity,
now you love for money,
give to pigs,
What happened to your respect?
You used to hold your self high,
walk straight and proud,
now you fill yourself with cheap liquor
and crawl on the ground.
Why Woman?
What happened to you?

Post-Freedom

Edge of your seat,
sippin on La Croix.
Limp doll hangin on
a hook in your closet.
Fingers dancing over strings
Greasy hair,
acomplishment.
Bad Breath and
a smile to get you
through the day.
Jittery nerves
and traffic commin
off E 1st and Booney.
Garbage bags piled high
and a cracked coffee mug to
make you cry.
Dogs peeing on road signs
wood rotting like the brain cells
in your head.
You cut your lip on the
can, blood staining your palms.
Lady in a wet suit
laughing at your mistakes
A record player skipping,
skipping, skipping.
Boozers, stoners,
People just messin a round.
Climbing to the top,
falling to the bottom.
A man pulling warm bread
outta the oven.
and your still on the edge of your seat,
sippin, dippin, trippin on
La Croix

I want...

I want to hold your hand in the car.
And see your smile in the morning.
I want to find a forest and run through it with you.
I want to drive in a random direction and see where the road takes us.
And sleep under the stars wrapped in your arms.
I want to sing with you and wash dishes.
I want to wear your shirts
And turn off our phones for days.
I want to preach right beside you, in villages, in small towns, in different countries.
I want to read the bible with you
And get distracted in some indepth research.
I want to plant a garden with you.
I want to use the vegetables and herbs to cook you meals.
And watch old movies when it's cold outside.
I want to dance in the rain with you.
I want to leave the windows bare
And let the moonlight spill in.
I want to restore furniture with you.
I want to sell bread with you.
And use the money to support our pioneering.
I want to introduce you to my family.
I want to see their faces light up
And the realization of loving you hit them like it's hit me so many times.
I want to go to conventions and assemblies with you.
I want to take notes with you and be the ones to start the round of applause after every talk.
And laugh at the teenagers that go cruising during intermission.
I want to take your nephews to the park.
I want to teach them guitar.
And dress them up as pirates.
I want to brag about you.
I want to be yours forever.
And i know.....it's gonna happen eventually.

failed attempt at a love poem

I held light in my hands. Glowing, shining, illuminating every crack and crevice.
It created a halo in the darkness. My heart let it spill in and occupy every fiber of it.
To dance, and sing, and smile all hours of the day. This can only be described as....love.
I heard a voice in my head. Strong, comforting, chasing away every scare and insecurity.
It lulled me to sleep in the middle of the day. My eyes filled with tears and fell to the earth.
To cry, and scream, and curse all hours of the day. This can only be described as....love.
I kissed a shadow. Fake, shallow, unable to disquiet my longing.
To kiss, and hold, and have all hours of the day. This can only be described as.....hahahah really corny!

Dusty door knobs

Unopened doors. The past shut tightly behind them.
Creaky floor boards, hallways leading towards light.
Unopened doors. Oppurtunities behind each one.
Unswearving steps, faithful, sure.
Unopened doors. I'll provide the key.

New song- untitled

First one

Went to Sarah Jaroz's concert last night. The venue was itimate and the band was super laid back. She invited everyone to join in on "come on up to the house" We all sang and clapped. Her music moved people...literally. I couldnt keep myself from swaying back and forth. My face hurt by the end of the night from smiling so much. There was no food allowed in the theatere so I snuck a sandwhich in my purse...I think she saw me take a couple bites actually. The rush of inspiration came on and it was frustrating trying to contain it in that seat, i wanted to jump up and start dancing. Afterwards she came out and signed everyone's (mine too) Cd's. Shes only 20!!! and her fiddle player alex (19) and base player old smitty (17) were some of the most talented musicians ive heard in a really long time. The atmosphere was buzzing, happy smiling people, mouthing her lyrics and hanging on her every word. It was amazing.


My cousin Luke, me and sarah after her show

I sneaked a pic right before the security guard cussed me out and said "No cameras maaa'm!" :P

My great grandmothers

Alma and Alta....they were twins....and from what ive heard...they were amazing women.

Sodom south georgia

I can listen to Sam Beams voice all day.

OH mother

I traveled on a train, a thousand miles away to the town i left behind. The call came in the middle of the night, but the stars were not shining and the moon was dark. The voices bubbled with sympathy, but not understanding. the silence stabbed and the unasked questions accused. The hidden guilt that lay like a brick in the stomach, melted and seeped out. Bags packed and waiting by the door, feet unable to move, heart longing to pretend it never happened, but the guilt kept choking kept drownding me. I stepped onto the soil and the roots of my childhood dug deep into the ground. The flame of memories burning my eyes. Drooping trees and broken buildings called out forced greetings and false hospitatlity. I was unwelcome in the cradle. People stared out from windows, talked in whispers. "Shes back, Shes back." Eyes asking "Why'd she run?" Holding myself back from disappearing. Feet anchored on the ground. The road pleaded me to follow it and never look back. Big white house, shudders cemented shut. Yard unruly how it had always been. Oh mother Oh mother songs swimming through my head, children teasing. The daughter of the town lunatic. Eyes always black with rage and confusion. But mostly love. The love of a mother for her child. Suffocating, hands incapable of caring, mind incapable of understanding. Too much. To run was the only option. Now sleep mother, in the ground where you always used to lie and watch they sky. sleep, in the earth that always dirtied your hands. The smile, sunshine spilling out of your heart. To fly far away from the nest of thorns. Oh mother do forgive, these hands, this mind. I was really the lunatic.

I am a Rock

Simon and Garfunkle

The lyrics:

The meaning:

It's up for interpretation.
My interpretation...
This is
my life
exactly.

My Journey

As of late, i am once again experincing a period in my life where i can go one of two ways.
The dense dark path leading down to the thick gloomy woods looks so appealing, where the safe paved road leading to the open meadow taunts me with the constant reminder that it's the best choice. I would love to walk down the dark path. Lay in the middle of the dirty trail and just cry and wait for time to slow creep by. I would love to get lost in the tangle of giant scary trees and just curl up in a ball and rock back and forth. I would love to close my eyes and see nothing but black, knowing that if i opened them it would be the exact same. I would love to give up.
But i cant. Because the path leading to the meadow is bright and hopeful and promising. It pursuades me with thoughts of running free through the open possibilities and keeping me distracted with flowers and sunshine. It pushes me towards happiness and the guarantee that everything is going to work out fine, everything is going to be ok. That it's worth it. That Im strong. That I can focus on the posotive. I find myself diverting from the dark and into the light.
Suddenly my feet feel weightless im floating along. My spirits are lifted. Im smiling. Everything seems to bright. But in my heart theres a storm a small portion of it that has rotted away. I know it will always be like that until your filling it up again. My mind is a mess but things are getting clearer. I like the path im on. Im going to stay on it. Because it told me thats what best for me.

Change

When you stop and think about it, the course that a person takes is determined by the individuals and significant events that take place in their life time. If we truly look back at all the people that had once touched us so deeply but we had lost connection with, it's enough to make you cry. Two lines crossing eachother, each going a different direction, and different path, but for that small time, when the lines intersected, there was no such thing as coincidences. No such thing as "Fate" it just...happened. We look past these moments, brushing them off with a flick of a hand or a laugh, not thinking about the huge impact that the one moment had on us at one point in our life. When you stop and think about it, change is something nobody can control. The world is constantly changing, people are constantly changing. One day everything can be clear and certain, the next blurry and frustrated. It's human. It's normal. To change, to feel, to accept all the emotions that come with being a human being. To act on these would be foolish, to not act on them would be even more. We have to let them come, settle down in our hearts for a short time, then send them off. To embrace the gut wrenching reality and take it with a poker face would be...lying. Humans lie all the time. Sometimes to protect themselves or others. Sometimes for fun, and sometimes to gain things they could not by being honest. It's one thing to lie to others. But to lie to ourselves? Destructive. Why must we always conform to society and hold back our true selves. many times people will do something great, something different, something that could change their life and the lives of many others, but they hold back, out of fear, out of desperation, out of lack of confidence and faith. They put dreams and hopes on back burners and map out a "plan" that they believe will lead them in the right direction. People are lost.
People have never and will never have it all together. They search and pray and come to conclusions that they believe have taken years to reach. People are...hopeless.
Without a higher power their ants. Walking in a line. Mindlessly fufilling their obligations and duties but never stopping to...jump head first into something completely different. No one has ever been able to just. Let go. Of everything. Completely. It's not possible. To do so would mean... being something else, something other than human. To do so would mean draining out all emotions and just exist. Animals exist. Humans Live.

It aches

This morning I woke up and my heart was literally hurting. Pounding in my chest, it brought tears to my eyes. Last night I layed in bed and thought about everything you and I have been through. How your such a huge part of my life and how I couldn't imagine ever losing you. I thought about our future, our goals, how everything seems so reachable...it's a while away but not too terribly far. I thought about all the days, even weeks, weve gone without takling and how miserable those were. I thought about your parents and how worried I am that they'll dissaprove of...us. I thought about my parents and how although they have good intentions they just dont understand. Their confused and a little bit frightened for me, thats ok, thats their job. I thought about how incredibly happy you make me and how Ive never, and could never love anyone more that I love you. I thought about what would happen if everything fell apart, that made my heart hurt more. I thought, if everything did, I wouldnt know where to go. I'd still serve Jehovah, still go out in service and go to mettings, but I wouldnt be happy. Id be miserable. Im miserable without you. Im scared Monsieur. I really am. Please help show me what we can do. It's up to you. I trust you.

Here

Im the dot in the middle of the circle. Surrounded by everything happening and not even aware that im isolating myself from it all. Im the fly on the peice of bread that gets shood away but keeps comming back because it doesnt understand. Im the accidental footprints in the freshly poured concrete. There not suppossed to be there but the presence of them is humorous and somewhat...ok. Im the paint brush drownding in the cup of water. Barely used but tough on the edges. Im the tree in the back yard that barely shades anything. But still adds green to the landscape. Im....here.

Winter of Homosapien

Cold wet fingers, wrapped tightly around a blanket. Falling off bare shoulders. Water dripping from dark shadowy trees. Leaves crunching beneath each foot step. Lips quivering. Eyes searching, wanting deperatly to close. Entire body, just wanting...to shut down. Fire. Aglow within. Melting off the ice clung to your hair. Sending paths of warmth up and down your arms. Filling you with liquid gold. Blanket falls to the ground. The earth opens up. Snow dissapears grass fingers its way up. Sun shining. Nothing to cover you. Completely natural. Smiling. It's summer.

having my moments of expression (corny as they may be)

Your voice sweeps me away. As an ocean breeze dusts the earth with sand.
Im perfectly fine lying here on this wave. Letting the sun beat down on me.
Your all I need. The last peice to make me feel whole. Ill let it rain. let it fill plastic bowls
and overflow into my heart. Ill let it build inside until i cant contain it anymore and the only option is to smile, and dance, and sing. I really do. Love you.

Cross Word

Decipher this:

I
alkgafguahsdkljghaklsdjhgLOVEalsdjkghahfuweytqiohbv
woiuerghYasodghowqhgjhapshdgihqwhgpiahdgOaldkjghaqoweiutbvU
adghpqruetypqnbMYqwtuyqpiouhgpbnakbfhakjhdfghpqurqptBpqow
adjkghaqwepioutyqputbnazxcbnvahgabmzbncvbadgfwytrqoqoeOahjg
alksjdhfakljdhfhalkjdhiuqeyroiuqyiutubvamvnbzbchvaqwgoaqytoY!!!

Across the universe

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup.

hanging

a rope around the neck hands grabbing wrists a cliff a building a cave feet dangling unsure scared you have no control all you can do, is hang on and hope

Breathe

Where am I? Head throbbing. Hammer pounding at my temples. Blood crawling through my viens, stopping at my legs. My legs. Where were they? Eyes Closed. Slowly, slowly. Come on open. No. Too painful. Voices. Wispering. The beeping of a machine close to my head. Way too loud. I knew that sound. Slow and steady. My heart. It was beating. I was sure of it. But I couldnt feel it. Maybe if i touch it. But my hand would not move. No. Laying at my sides. I couldnt see them. Couldnt feel them. What is happening? "It's been two weeks" I strained to make out the voice. Unrecognizable "I dont care" That voice was all too familiar. It brought tears to My eyes. Tears I didnt have. It was his voice. He placed a shaky hand on my face. I could feel that. Thank god. Bright Florecsent lights peirced through my closed eyes. Blinded me. Shapes moving around. People leaning over me. Air conditioner blowing at me. Goosebumps on my shoulders. Scrathy material covering them. I could feel that too. Panic. What happened. "Leave." His voice craked. He sounded upset. People protesting. Then the unfamiliar voice. "Shes better off dead." I heard a hard THUMP. The sound of his fist hitting the doctors jaw. I knew it. Gasps. Probably from my sister and mother. "I said Leave" Footsteps shuffling out. Door slamming shut. He sat down on the bed next to me. I wished I could open My eyes. See his face. Please god. Please. I beg you. Just let me see his face. I couldnt tell but he was holding My hand. "Honey?" No. Not this. Dont do this. Dont try to talk to me. I cant answer cant you see! I cant! Again. "Honey?" I felt the words deep in my being.I tried. I tried to force them up through my throat. Please. Please. "I dont know if you can hear me." I can! I can!! Please belive me. Im listening. "I know i say that everytime I come here. I want to let you know whats going on. You were..." He stopped. His voice comming out in a defeated whisper. Hes crying. God no. Please dont cry. "You were in an accident. Your in a coma." He stopped again and got up. Crying harder. He hit his fist against the wall. "Why am I doing this? You cant hear me. Youll never be able to hear me. Im so sorry. I love you." It was unbearable. Please. Just let me get up. Let me wrap my arms around him and tell him it's okay. Let me show him im fine. Let me tell him i love him. Please, Please. Let me just open my eyes. I clenched every muscle. Bit my tounge. and slowly slowly light spilled in. At first everything was white. A darker figure over by the window. Head Hanging down. There he was. Tears dripping from his face, unshaven. Eyes closed. Hands balled up. Please look. Come on Look at me. Please. Im awake. Im here. Look!! Look at me!!! But he didnt. A voice screaming inside me. silence. It was the silence that was killing me. I love you. head turning. I stared. Blinking. In an instant he was leaning over me. eyes staring into mine. tears falling on my face. His lips trembled. Hands shaking. brushing back my hair. I kept blinking. Look. Im here. It's okay. I love you. He fell apart. Smiling. Laughing. Crying. Head lying on my chest. I tried to smile to. But i couldnt. All I could do was Blink and Breathe.

Immobile

Your stuck, in a huge ocean of quick sand. oxygen being squeezed out from your body. The climax of something fast approching. Youve come to terms with your situation. In some ways your content. You know whats going to happen. You expect it, you want it, but just as your about to go under. Everything stops. Swallowed whole. Legs, arms, everything but your head. You can see, and hear, and taste the grittyness in your mouth. This is much worse. Now theres nothing to do but wait. Wait. Wait for someone to come save you. Pull you out of the ocean. You curse the ground. Why? Why not just be done with me? Why taunt me? Why torture me? Your stuck. But as you look through the tears you see...everything. A sunset casts a fiery glow across the sky. Birds flying almost in a beautiful choreographed dance. Flowers start to bloom around you. Days, Months, Years, and your still there. Taking it all in. The beauty of...everything. Rain falls down upon your face and clouds smile at you. Tree grow and provide you with shade. Flowers still bloom, birds still fly, and all the while your still stuck in the large ocean. Is this what it took? a trap to cause you to slow down, to enjoy, to appreciate. Your finally content. This is the way it is. Your food itches. You cant reach it though. Thats ok, Ill just pretend. Finally. Arms pull you out of the dense wet sand that has become your home. Your feet touch the grass. You can run your fingers through your hair. Grateful you stare into the face. No longer stuck, no longer immobile.

Bark

Rough, like my skin. loud, like my heart. so dark, so wet. firm. Tall. sure.

Ive hit a wall

meh, the creativity has come to a halt. yes. im goin insane. i feel.....grey. bleck. I hate grey. Cold oatmeal. stale bread. Wheres the inspiration? Guess ive just been really busy. *sigh*

My fingers smell like coffee

The simple urge.
The confusing action of planning something completely unrelevant to your current situation.
Spontaneous? Yes! Crazy?? Ofcourse!! Our minds are unable to comprehend the sudden urge to create, make,feel. When the moment comes we much act on it instantly, before it slips past our mental powers and floats in the empty air forever. It can come in many forms, a thought, something you can hold, even....air. Anything! But when it comes...it comes...dont let it go. Act upon it! Right away. Let it lead you. Float along. Be completely subjected to this compelling force known as....inspiration.

Mexico Here I Come

:D

Sticky pads and cracked hands

Her head hurt. Eyes focusing in the dark. Bats flapping around. The sun was barely starting to come up. Food crusted paper plates littered the living room. Remains of the party last night. Everyone was still sleeping. About 10 bodies laying unconciously on the floor. Some snoring, some too deep in their dreams to notice that rain was leaking through the roof and onto their foreheads. She chuckled. Her feet were numb. The glass bowl broke and was lying in shards over in the corner. Whos house were they at again? No one seemed to know. The sudden act of hospitatlity had shocked them all. Here they were, travelers, roamers, outcasts, invited into the home of somebody who obviously had it together. Food, a hot shower, even a smile was all it took to make her feel like a human being. She had been a sillhouette for such a long time, nothing to define her as...real. And now here she was, wrapped in sheets, hair brushed and stomach full. It felt nice, it felt comfortable, too comfortable. It scared her. She stood up and started stepping over people to get to the front door. It was locked. Silly people. Didnt they realize the real danger was already inside? She changed her mind and went over to the window, sliding it up and popping out the screen she crawled out into the damp grass. It was foggy and cold. Goose bumps crawled up and down her arms. She could of asked for a coat, shoes, an extra change of clothes. but she refused. She loved testing her self. her survivial skills. she was cold...yes...but she was going to deal with it. Walking away from the strange yet familar house full of her comrades she couldnt help but feel meloncholy....yet...empowered...she was back.

I wonder

Hmm...how am i feeling at the moment. yep it happened again. for like the hundreth time. I was just standing there. sure. i have not control. Yeah their just letters and words. so what? I have the three right? I donno. Im sitting. tears. their not mine. a hug. scratching the back. naw. Im not sure. I wonder if things will...yeah i guess. hmm...im confused. why? i make a big deal outta things. over analyze...i shouldda been a scientist...nawww...they have to use their brains too much. I wanna go to other countries and build buildings. I wanna say that things worked out...will they? hmm...hahah why? why? why? why? you think and think and think. stop thinking!! serious. my brain hurts. I ran too much. that chocolate popcicle made me feel better. its all the little things. the things about ....u and well...us that i probably couldnt live without. hmm...i wonder.

Things I love

The pause between reporters on the news.
Escalators.
Making hats out of tissue boxes.
People that arent afraid to spontaneously bust out in dance and song.
Pennies.
Working in a building surrounded by art.
Monty Python and the quest for the holy grail.
Eating the last bit of ice cream in the containter.
Using chopsticks to eat salad.
Listening to music while walking down the street (makes ya feel like you rule the world)
Strange music videos.
AUSTIN!!
Hippies...True hippes...ones that arent afraid to go barefoot.
Dogs that let you pet them without biting off your finger.
Watching PBS at 3 in the morning.
Julia and angus stone.
Bandaids.
Interesting food.
Going somewhere...anywhere...a place you have no idea what ull find there.
Caculators.
Antiques.
My great grand mother.
Tangerine trees.
Sheep.
Secluded rivers...preferable ones without floating trash.
Benches.
Facing the lion.
Hearing your voice.
Tape.
Dancing in the rain.
Laughing uncontrolably and having no idea what about.
Inside jokes.
Wood.
Morse code.
French.
Bottle caps.
Old letters.
Hats.
Laura stevenson.
My ukulele
Our brotherhood.
Establishing a friendship with a total stranger.
Soap.
Writing reminders on post its and sticking them on my ceiling.
Broken peices of glass.
Raking dirt. :D
The akward silence after some one burps.
Collecting things found on the road....yet again...perferably not trash.
Hands.
Singing in the shower.
Paris.
Cooking channels.
Travel channels.
Music channels.
93.3
The psycho cat that hangs around our house.
Tacos.
Watching people paint.
Foreign films.
Taking pictures of tires.
You.

haha

Well as you can probably tell, i JUST figured out how to upload pictures into the blog.
There will be alot more commin now.

A Dance in the rain

Come dance with me.

It doesnt matter what time it is.

Rain, shine, snow, wind.

Come dance with me.

Ive figured it out.

The secret to life.

Nothing matters.

Nothing at all.

Except what makes you happy.

Whatever it may be.

Come dance with me.

You make me happy. :D

Nobody knows me at all

A new song i learned by the Weepies. :D

Argh!!! I wanna go. REALLY bad!

can u imagine!?

Feed my fish

ahhahah this is awsome!!
scroll down to the bottom of the page and click anywhere in the green.
Feel free to name them. :)

Go Ahead

"Sure why not" He muttered to himself.

Throwing the half eaten taco into the greasy brown paper bag. He ran inside and grabbed his guitar. The strings glistening in the sun as he loaded up his car. Coffee- check, Food- check,
Music- double check. Cd's scattered all across the back seat. He was ready. Map in hand. Cell phone completely turned off. Barefoot and curious. He hopped in and left. But there was no one to wave good bye to him. He smiled. He loved that. No one knew.

Everyone was completely oblivious to what he was about to do. He passed the post office. People mailing their letters. licking their envelopes, paying wayy too much for stamps. He chuckled to himself. Pictures flashed through his brain. Mexico, Europe, Spain. It was all so...far away. Yet he could taste the salt of the beaches, smell the fresh produce of the markets, and hear the music echo through the cobble stone streets. He was there. He was sorrounded by everything. Lights. Flashing by as the day quickly turned to night. Traffic. He wasnt there. Not in his car. Not on this highway. Not in the same state hed lived in most his life. The music lulled him to sleep. Crap. he hadnt realized how tired he was. Pulling into a rest stop. he gave up on searching for a cheap motel and just....slipped into his dreams. Right there in the front seat.

He was on top of a building. Where was he...He was in Paris. People walking hand in hand below him. The smell of coffee floating through the air. He laughed. He was there. Lights. Sparkling through the city. Illuminating the eifle tower. He felt complete. He smiled and fell back. The Sun burned his skin.

Where was he...Spain. He heard children laughing and water splashing. Music and conversation imminating from the shore. He was on a boat. Floating, his feet dangling in the crystal blue water. He cried. Tears of...something. Please stay please stay, he begged to his subconcious. But as soon as he opened his eyes he was pedaling down a dirt road.

Where was he...Mexico. He looked down in shock, in his hand was the greasy brown paper bag containing the taco. He stopped and park the bike underneath a tree. Leaning up against it, he ate his taco and allowed the enormity of everything envelope him. Mexico. yes. this was right.
he smiled.
And
never
woke
up.

The sun shone brightly

As it was, she just started...walking.
Nothing with her. No back pack. No extra change of clothes in a suitcase. Not even her wallet or cell phone. She just...up and left. Not telling anyone why or where she was going. Each step on the hot black assphault, felt like a year she was leaving behind. Tall trees lined the road. Looking up the clouds seemed to form into an arrow, pointing her onward. BBQ. Yes it was. She was smelling the smoky aroma of the resturaunt up the road. What was it called again?
Salt Lick. Thats right. Austin. She was going to Austin. It just occured to her. The building seemed to tilt towards her as she walked farther and farther away from it, her stomach grumbling the entire time. Sun beat down upon her. But for some reason the thick presperation didnt make her uncomfortable. It made her feel...free. She looked down at her hands. Dark and dirty from playing with the ground. She closed her eyes and could almost smell the rich soil she was planting in not even two hours ago. What made her stop? The bush, thats right. It was the bush. The small dead rose bush she was trying to save. It looked odd in her front yard. Too beautiful against the peeling paint and cement. She felt like a rose bush. Dead ofcourse. but also. out of place. Thats the moment she decided, or the bush decided for her. Because a dog came just as she was deep in thought and peed on it. She didnt want to be pissed on. by a dog, by people, by life. It was time. And now. Here she was, walking. Almost gliding towards whatever was ahead of her. An endless strech of road. Cars speeding by. She didnt even bother to lift up her thumb. A car pulled over and a man jumped out. The sun shone brightly, blocking out his face. He walked closer, Everything stopped. Everything. The cars. The blistering wind. The peeing dog, it all froze. But he kept walking, closer and closer. It was him. She was sure. He slipped his hand into hers. All smiles.
They kept walking farther and farther away from the car.

Only Human

I have to pee.
Im hungry.
My contacts are bothering my eyes.
My throat is dry.
My feet are killing me.
This shirt is too big.

Hands

Im looking at this painting. Its two hands kinda spread out. I like it.
A man came in. I was making tags for the paintings. I fell off the ladder.
Laughed at myself. He was not laughing. Oops. Sold a painting. 8.25%
I suck at math. Duh just add the tax to the total. Lady looked at me like i was stupid.
Then we started a laughing. She failed her math in high school too. :)
Chips in the cabinet, dip in the fridge. I love these people!
Type type type. Fingernails are painted...for the first time in forever!
I donno if i like them. But i do like that painting of the hands. The fingernails on it are not painted.
Maybe I'll take the polish off.
Blue.
Like my car.
That died.
It's a sad reminder.
Maybe ill paint them something nicer...like green.
Then maybe ill get a green car.
Thats pretty gay. Ur nails matching your car.
Hey whatever makes ya happy i guess.

He left her

Im shocked. I didnt think people could be like that.
He left her. Moved on. To someone else. Without even telling her.
Without even leaving her with her dignity or a reasonable explanation.
Made me think. How can some one be so sure. Then just...forget?
Will you do the same? I doubt it. I'ts different. I hope. Were right. Right?
Hes gone now. And shes crying to me. Trying to figure out how this happened.
I hurt for her.
I knew it was comming though.
Love doesnt last...when you dont try.
Im trying. Really hard. I want this to last.
More than anything. I do not want to be that girl on the phone.
Wondering what happened. Wondering what she did wrong.

Dead

Welp...It crapped out on me...it was inevitable...my mustang...blew up...unfixable...crap. :(

flowers

Today i had to run to H.E.B to buy some flowers and chocolate covered strawberries for my boss. We had a press tour and we were tryin to impress. So as im checking out an old gap toothed man comes up to me and real serious says "your doing it wrong" pointing at the flowers.
"uuuuuh...i know there suppossed to be in water." I replied.
He laughed.
"No!" He shook his head.
Confused i asked.
"well how am i supposed to do it?"
"the boys are supposed to buy the girls flowers!!" he cracked up and i couldnt help but smile.
I love old people :D

Cave

I am a cave.
Sometimes filled with shiny rocks.
Sometimes filled with bat crap.
take your pick.
Each step echoing as you walk further and further into this wet, dark, deep cave.
take your picture.
The flash illuminates the dark corners and fills the empty space with a sudden warmth.
Your voice booms as you comment on the rough corners and pointy edges.
take your leave.
Youve stayed long enough.
Soon your footsteps will be permanantly indented into my ground.
I cant have that.
Because the absence after you leave filles me with such pain, I'd wish someone would light
a stick of dynomite and let me "cave in" on myself.
Does this make sense?
I want you to stay.
Become a resident in this hole of mine.
Paint the walls,
add your touch.
You light up my darkness.
I am a cave, all sparkling and beautiful,
when i have your foot prints, voice, and color inside.

Update

So some of our friends own an art gallery and they asked me to play for the anual first-friday-of-the-month-"ART WALK". Very excited and well...nervous. I have a rough draft of songs I want to play but im still searchin.

I cant let this control me

I'm scared.
things are... uncertain...

D-E-A-T-H

He lay there. Wondering why had dirt in his hair. Twiddling his thumbs he let the darkness lull him to sleep. And when he woke he was expecting the sunshine, but instead he saw black.
this is death, this is death. I will awaken you. from your death from your death, or....I...will...join you.

She lay there. the covers pulled up to her chin. Shivering she wondered why there was a stain on the ceiling. Her heart was not beating, because it was a million miles away with him. this is death, this death. I will awaken you. from your death from your death, or....I...will...join you.

They lay there. The stars melting down on their faces. Breathing they let the night invelope them. And when the siren blared out across the field. They hummed their song. This is death, this is death. I will awaken you. from your death from your death, or....I...will....join....you....

but not...if i have to.

L-O-V-E

A woman walked into a book store. Her nose running, hair dripping wet from the rain. Eager to find a good book to distract her from the nervous pit that was now growing in her stomach. Her face flushed she walked past the man behind the counter too focused to notice the smile on his face and the sound of him clearing his throat. He played with his hands as he watched her wander from book shelf to book shelf. Tears fell as she ran her hand across an unpleasantly familiar book. She held it close to her and wiped her cheeks. Finally looking at him she walked closer to the counter. His heart thumped with each step she took. Gently setting the book down she smiled and asked how much it was. He had to put his hand over his mouth before he blurted something stupid. All that he wanted to say he had to push farther and farther down into him as he said
" twelve dollars"
She started to get the money out of her purse but he put his hand on her arm. For a moment they stood staring at each other. He wanted the moment to last forever but sensing her discomfort he handed her the book.
" i't's on me"
She raised an eye brow as if he was joking. But gratefully took the book and stuck it under her arm.
"Thank you"
she whispered.
Another moment looking into her eyes. Then she turned and headed for the door. He watched as her hair swayed back and forth. She darted out into the rain...and was gone. The wind slammed the door and all that he was left with was silence.
"thats my favorite book too."
he said to no one in particular.


copyright.

My stang

It's falling apart.
It's a piece of crap.
It's blue.
I love it.
I can see myself driving far far far away in that thing. Away from this town. This state. Maybe even this country. (although i think the only countries you can drive to are canada and mexico. unless well you have a submarine car...and lets face it...who can afford one of those????)
My stang.
it's just a small thing but means so much. Freedom....broken bones...if a car wreck is involved.
music, bug guts. everything. I want to drive away.

A big blob

I want to paint....and eat food....that doesnt have to be microwaved...i want to dance in the middle of the road....and play my guitar ontop of a building....i want...i want ....i want.....am i greedy??