Breathe

Where am I? Head throbbing. Hammer pounding at my temples. Blood crawling through my viens, stopping at my legs. My legs. Where were they? Eyes Closed. Slowly, slowly. Come on open. No. Too painful. Voices. Wispering. The beeping of a machine close to my head. Way too loud. I knew that sound. Slow and steady. My heart. It was beating. I was sure of it. But I couldnt feel it. Maybe if i touch it. But my hand would not move. No. Laying at my sides. I couldnt see them. Couldnt feel them. What is happening? "It's been two weeks" I strained to make out the voice. Unrecognizable "I dont care" That voice was all too familiar. It brought tears to My eyes. Tears I didnt have. It was his voice. He placed a shaky hand on my face. I could feel that. Thank god. Bright Florecsent lights peirced through my closed eyes. Blinded me. Shapes moving around. People leaning over me. Air conditioner blowing at me. Goosebumps on my shoulders. Scrathy material covering them. I could feel that too. Panic. What happened. "Leave." His voice craked. He sounded upset. People protesting. Then the unfamiliar voice. "Shes better off dead." I heard a hard THUMP. The sound of his fist hitting the doctors jaw. I knew it. Gasps. Probably from my sister and mother. "I said Leave" Footsteps shuffling out. Door slamming shut. He sat down on the bed next to me. I wished I could open My eyes. See his face. Please god. Please. I beg you. Just let me see his face. I couldnt tell but he was holding My hand. "Honey?" No. Not this. Dont do this. Dont try to talk to me. I cant answer cant you see! I cant! Again. "Honey?" I felt the words deep in my being.I tried. I tried to force them up through my throat. Please. Please. "I dont know if you can hear me." I can! I can!! Please belive me. Im listening. "I know i say that everytime I come here. I want to let you know whats going on. You were..." He stopped. His voice comming out in a defeated whisper. Hes crying. God no. Please dont cry. "You were in an accident. Your in a coma." He stopped again and got up. Crying harder. He hit his fist against the wall. "Why am I doing this? You cant hear me. Youll never be able to hear me. Im so sorry. I love you." It was unbearable. Please. Just let me get up. Let me wrap my arms around him and tell him it's okay. Let me show him im fine. Let me tell him i love him. Please, Please. Let me just open my eyes. I clenched every muscle. Bit my tounge. and slowly slowly light spilled in. At first everything was white. A darker figure over by the window. Head Hanging down. There he was. Tears dripping from his face, unshaven. Eyes closed. Hands balled up. Please look. Come on Look at me. Please. Im awake. Im here. Look!! Look at me!!! But he didnt. A voice screaming inside me. silence. It was the silence that was killing me. I love you. head turning. I stared. Blinking. In an instant he was leaning over me. eyes staring into mine. tears falling on my face. His lips trembled. Hands shaking. brushing back my hair. I kept blinking. Look. Im here. It's okay. I love you. He fell apart. Smiling. Laughing. Crying. Head lying on my chest. I tried to smile to. But i couldnt. All I could do was Blink and Breathe.